Summer

Summer is winding down–July is coming to a close. How do I know this? Well, thanks to the fashion industry, the fall lines are out and the colors are changing. This week I just bought myself a winter coat for the fall. I have no doubt that August will zoom by and so I have been busy making lists. Lists offer us a way to put our brains on paper and lately, mine can’t seem to remember one task from the next, and so lists have held me accountable. These lists aren’t just tasks that I have to accomplish…they are also a great way to store memories. Lists are a quick and easy way to document important thoughts, ideas, sights, sounds, and smells when we are short on time or don’t have our journals on hand. When summer is over, long after my tan lines have faded away, and there is a chill in the air, I will look back on my lists and remember. I will remember how warm the sun felt on my face, hear the pitter patter of flip-flops hitting the pavement, and the smell of fresh cut grass. I will curl up with a cup of tea and read my summer list over and over to stay warm.

Summer

Iced tea

Sunglasses with neon rims

Pink toenail polish

The first chill when you jump into the pool

Stacks of magazines with soggy edges

Sunscreen

Lemonade

The clink of ice cubes in a glass

Puffy white clouds

Leopard print flip-flops

Messy ponytails

Peeling sunburns

Fresh produce

Cool mornings

Hot afternoons

Gelato

Sundresses

Clear blue skies

Cherry tomatoes off the vine

Smell of chlorine

Boat rides

White wine

Outdoor picnics

Beach towels hanging to dry

Baseball games

Road trips with the windows down

Sunflower fields

Dinners out on the deck

Farmer’s Markets

Sidewalk chalk

Walks on the beach

The smell of the ocean

Outdoor concerts

Blankets on the grass

Pink sunsets

Long runs in the sun

Good books

Catching up with old friends

Outdoor lanterns

Mosquito bites

Lemons and limes

Rose gardens

Gin & tonic

Wedding receptions

Gallery openings

Newborn babies

Memorials

Postcards

Lavender

Summer Olympics

Watermelon

Sprinklers

Long shadows

Starry nights

This cup is for NYC–my biggest list of all

The patience to heal

The dictionary defines heal as “to make healthy, whole, or sound; to restore to health; free from ailment”

My definition of heal would be a person, place or thing, that has insurmountable patience, courage and willpower to heal from the inside out. This person, place or thing manages to put life on hold to heal wounds, bones, broken hearts, aches and pains and come out stronger on the other side. I am always in awe of those who can manage to heal with a sense of humor, a good attitude, bravery, courage, and strength–and don’t let healing bring them down.

In talking with a friend last week, we both agreed that this is the summer of healing. Everyone is in healing mode, be it new knees or hips, mending broken hearts, fractured relationships, sickness and disease–healing is in. While healing is never easy, it can be a time of peace and reflection.

Life can finally slow down and we begin to appreciate the little things. Healing gives us a chance to slip into our comfy clothes, put our feet up, and let our hair roam free in tangles. Healing means we can take our time flipping through old magazines (and have the time to read the whole article), send postcards, jot down ideas, fill sketch books, finish knitting sweaters (that we started last fall), call friends, watch our favorite shows, order in (be it new shoes or Chinese), sleep, and restore ourselves. I know that for some of us, we would never slow down, unless we had to heal, and so in some ways, healing is a very good thing.

On the other hand, many of us would rather restore ourselves with a new yoga class, a long run, and a cup of green tea, a vacation to a tropical island or a weekend full of sleeping in, crossword puzzles, and breakfast in bed.  But unless our bodies send us the warning signal that we need to slow down, rarely do we treat ourselves to such luxuries as a tropical island, and we don’t hit the snooze button often enough.

I find it amazing that our bodies can hold up the way that they do. Unlike many European Countries, the United States does not take siestas mid day. Imagine if Manhattan or Los Angeles shut down from 12-3pm everyday, businesses closed, traffic stopped and everyone went home to take a nap. Imagine how rested we would be. But, the United States doesn’t operate this way–we keep going until we run out of steam. And worse still, when we do take a day off, we often don’t feel restored, we feel even more stressed out about how much extra work is waiting for us or how much we are missing or not getting done. The stark reality is that all of that can wait. While I think that we have lots we can learn and adopt from the rest of the world, one thing is for sure, I wish that we had more breaks in the day–more breaks in life.

In that regard, with so little rest breaks, you would have to agree that the human body is a pretty amazing thing. Yes, it gets old, stiffer, and slows down with age, but think of how long it has been carting you around. Think about everything that it manages to endure and recover from. So while it might seem as though you have been healing all summer (I did say already– healing is IN!) in the long term, you will be back on your feet, upright, and out the door in no time. So take this time–the summer of healing–to sit back, relax, and restore. Your body needs it and you deserve it!

This cup is for all the healers: Peggy, Dia, Mark, and Courtney

And everyone else who is healing–because healing is IN

(K)no(w) means (K)no(w)

How is it that sometimes we can learn more about a person long after they are gone, than when they were alive? Is it that small talk doesn’t add up to as much as we think it does? Do we really need all of our friends and acquaintances to hand us their personal bio’s to fill in the holes that we can’t get from a day to day, month or month or year to year conversation? And even more, there are some people we will just never know because they have passed away or because this world is just too big, or because they are too famous, too busy, or too important to be bothered. And so we will only know what we know about a person when we read or hear about them (regardless if they are alive or not). And all of our family, friends, and acquaintances that we know (or think we know), well, we will just have to dig a little deeper to fill the holes or wait and be surprised.

In this case, I got to know a person a few weeks ago, which I will never get the chance to meet. My mom and I were driving through sunflower fields, the sun a golden pink, and we were listening to Nora Ephron. Previous to this road trip, I had known little about her, except that she was the magic behind some of my favorite movies–You’ve Got Mail has always been high on my list.  As I have said, we often learn a lot more about a person after they have passed away, and while I didn’t know her personally (she was famous and important), NPR gave me greater insight on her life and work through a special segment that would feature her witty sense of humor, charm, and intelligence. And now, just today, I have finished reading both her books–cover to cover. Listening to Ephron, we could have been related. She could have been the sister that my mother never had. Her writing, her work, and her humor–it all feels so familiar to me. I feel like I know her.

This got me thinking about knowing someone. There are two kinds of “know.” The first is real. You know a person inside and out. You can name their favorite movie; you know their quirks, their likes, dislikes, hopes and dreams. These are the friends and family that know you by name, are people you can call, and hopefully, folks you can depend on. The other kind of “know” is fictional. We have blurred the line of recognizing to knowing. An example: Sometimes I think I know Gwyneth Paltrow. I think this because I know that she makes pizza from a brick oven (at one of her homes) and frequents her gym with 2 and a half hour workouts, and her kid’s names are Apple and Moses. Reality smack in the face: I in fact, DO NOT “know” Gwyneth Paltrow. I merely read about her from time to time. I recognize a few things about her or I “know of" her and somehow my brain stores it away somewhere. Maybe someday I will bump into her and say hi, but this is a big “MAYBE.” I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me.

And finally, there are the people that we do know– inside and out– and (still) learn new things about everyday. My friend passed away a few weeks ago and I am learning so much more about who he was–but I am not learning it from him anymore–I am learning it from others. Sometimes it takes another person to share a story, a time, a place–a memory–for us to know a person. Just as we learn about ourselves through others, we learn about others through others. Different people form different relationships and experiences with one another, and it is truly a special gift when we can learn about someone through someone else. And when you think about it that is the most powerful way that we live on–we live on through others–through story telling.

With that in mind I will leave you with the words of Nora Ephron herself, “Here are some questions I am constantly noodling over: Do you splurge or do you hoard? Do you live every day as if it's your last, or do you save your money on the chance you'll live twenty more years? Is life too short, or is it going to be too long? Do you work as hard as you can, or do you slow down to smell the roses? And where do carbohydrates fit into all this? Are we really all going to spend our last years avoiding bread, especially now that bread in American is so unbelievable delicious? And what about chocolate?”

This cup is for Mrs. Ephron:  It has been nice getting to know you.

And for the rest of you, I encourage you to go have a cup with someone you know... or don’t know…

Running with a heavy heart...

It was a warm day. The kind of day where you pace yourself based on the shadows from the trees, sprinting from shadow to shadow to dodge the heat. It was a hill run. The neighborhood slowly arched its way around the hill and every turn gave way to a new challenge–a steady incline. As I made a sharp turn, pushing my legs forward with every step, I saw my friend up ahead. Tall, lean, and steady on his feet, he never slowed his pace, but just keep the momentum all the way to the top. I became more and more breathless as I tried to hold my focus, following in his footsteps, trying to keep up. When he reached the top he stopped and turned around, grinning from ear to ear. As I came closer he threw his arms up in the air, palms out stretched and we high fived each other. We had made it to the top. For the rest of the run home we had the breeze at our backs, a smile across our face, and a deep sense of accomplishment that you can only understand if you have had the chance to lace up your shoes and make it to the top of a hill. It is not an easy task. It takes time, persistence, sweat, strength, and friendship to make it to the top. For me, I was lucky to have Geoff–both leading the way, and waiting at the top. With a heavy heart I am sad to say that not a run will go by without thinking of my friend, and no hill run will ever be the same. But I know that Geoff will be with me in spirit, every step of the way. I know that he will run inside every runner, cheering them on, helping them cross the finish line. He will be there–ready to run, and as always, I will try to keep up.

This cup is for Geoff–Not a run will go by without thinking of you