It’s a new year, but I haven’t felt it yet. Maybe it is on
account that I went sans sparkle this New Year’s eve and rang in 2014 from the
quiet corners of my home. Tucked in the folds of my family with a glass of
bubbly before crawling under the covers long before the New Year reached my
time zone.
The start of a new year is like a fresh pad of paper. Clean
white pages, wrinkle free, and no rough edges. The possibilities are endless.
Hopes. Dreams. Goals. Desires. Schemes. Grand plans. Where to begin? Sharpen
your pencils folks.
I started the New Year thinking about lists. As I scribbled
down resolutions, plans, notes, books to read, and recipes to try, I took some
time to think about my roots. The other night I sat under (an almost full) moon
in the car with my mom talking with my aunt. By blood, she is not my aunt, and
when I ask my mom who her cousin is to me, she responds, “Who knows, some stuff
is really complicated.” The truth is, I don’t care where our family ties cross
and connect, we are related. As I huddled over the speaker with my mom, I
watched our words form into small cold clouds. Our conversation led to family
ties and stories that arched over long spans of time, covering generations,
pulling in women I will never get the chance to know.
Hanging up the phone, I felt lucky. There are so many women
in my life who have taken on the role of aunts, grandmothers, cousins and best
friends. The stories of my genetic ties live on through these women, and regardless
of bloodlines, I am forever tied to them. They have taught me everything from my
grandmother’s favorite flower, to the importance of applying mascara before
leaving the house.
This week I lunched with a woman whom I closely identify as
an honorary grandmother. She is effortlessly classy, from her thank you cards
to her jewels. She is gracious, thoughtful and warm. She is one of the few
women that I know that was close friends with grandmother, and I can’t help but
feel deeply connected as I pull her into a hug. She is my link to the past, my
grandmother connecting us, and regardless of genes, she is and always will be a part of my family tree.
This year, my 2014 list is short. I am working on it little
by little. The truth is, I don’t make plans, I wait for them. Not a day goes by
that I am not dreaming of something or someone, but I can’t get too wrapped up
in plans. I like keeping my pages clean, crisp, and plan free, so that when
something comes along, there is a place for it. If you end up planning
everything there will be no room for the surprise houseguest, the recipe that
you clipped out of an airline magazine and wanted to try, the friend that calls
to invite you on a trip through South America, or the beach house that becomes available you’ve had
your heart set on for years. Most of the time I am happy to be plan free so
that I can make time for those extra links in my family tree, those spur of the
moment phone calls in the dark, and a reason to keep listing, logging and wondering
what tomorrow will bring.
1. Reading
a. Nelson
Mandela-A Long Walk to Freedom
b. Into
the Wild by John Krakauer
c. A
Living History by Hilary Clinton
d. Aimless
Love by Billy Collins
2. Listening
a. Head
and The Heart
3. Running
a. In
the trees, on the trails, through the woods
b. With
friends
c. Alone
4. Sleeping
a. In
b. Early
c. Often
5. Cooking
from:
a. The
Kinfolk Table
b. Vegetable
Literacy
c. Plenty
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