Soar

This has taken me a long time to write, a long time to process, a long time to find the words. But, yesterday I was at the park and we were at the swings. I felt the breeze hit my face. Little voices laughed and squealed as they soared toward the clouds. It was one of those cool mornings with a bite in the air. It was one of those mornings where the light hits the leaves just right, giving the park a golden glow. It was one of those perfect New York autumn mornings. My heart ached. I thought of you.

I thought of your smile, your infectious laugh that would fill a room. I thought of all the love and light that filled the warehouse when you walked in. I have fond memories of hiding in shipping boxes, the look on your face when we surprised you! I thought of all the times you would reach out for a high-five. I thought about all the times you made me laugh. I thought about the undeniable love that you held for Meaghan, the kind of love that I hoped to find someday. I thought about the dedication and positive attitude that you brought to every job, every task. I thought about how you made everyone around you feel like the most important person in the world.

And here I was at the park. Here I was gazing up at the trees, up at the sky. My throat felt raw. My heart. My heart. I thought of little Julius. I thought of little Julius climbing into the swing and soaring up into the clouds. I thought of him smiling and laughing as he swung higher and higher.

I hope that one day I can take him to the park. I hope that one day we can meet at the swings and I can tell him all about the old days at TOMS. I hope I can tell him all about his dad–what an amazing person he was, not only as a husband and father, but as a friend.  And we will swing. We will swing as high as our TOMS will take us, and we will be thinking of you.

This cup is for Hammer, I will think of you always.

And for Meaghan & Julius…I will be waiting at the swings. 

(If you would like to give, please visit: http://www.forjulius.com/)